Balding

Currently I’m in the thinning stages of balding. It’s really not something I enjoy talking about or going through, but I understand my experience might help somebody cope with the same process. I have hair, but it’s too thin to grow out. It’s not always a bad thing to lose your hair, but for those of you who have genes like me, it’s definitely not a pleasant experience. Not only is my hair disappearing, I’ve stopped growing vertically and I look terrible in a hat. Thankfully I still have great vision and I’m not in the worst shape.

I’ve begun prepping myself for the list of jokes to come. I know that people with hair will feel the need to make jokes and I’ve been refining my insult skills so I can be ready to dish that personal attack right back out. I’m not against exploiting somebody’s flaws to the point of emotional breakdown to protect what little self esteem I have left. Just know I only tear you down to build myself up. And I’m good at it. So let’s keep a level head right off the back so that you don’t spend money repairing the emotional damage I’m willing to administer.

For those of you further into the process of balding, I’m sure you’ve heard all the padded phrases to help you feel better about your balding. Phrases like, “You’re not going bald. You’re growing taller than your hair.” Here’s a new phrase you can use to help ease the pain. “I’m not going bald. I’m growing more scalp.”

I hope those of you headed toward what I call “The Chrome Dome Destiny” have found a friend and maybe some comfort in this message. Let’s stand up against the anti-eagle nest forces.