Desert Island

Don’t be fooled by the name of the title. This isn’t like the game Desert Island where you list things you’d bring if you were stuck on an island. My version of Desert Island is an island where I can send certain types of people that I really don’t care for. People that cause me to hold my tongue when I see them. People that you and I really could not deal with on a daily basis and should not have to deal with on a daily basis.

First on this list is Denim to the Core person. Denim at one point was a fashionable piece of clothing. That point in time is long gone and so should you be. What were your sweats that don't quite reach your New Balance shoes in the laundry never to be touched? Yes we see you like denim. The matching jacket that’s probably covered in stench in order for you to make your statement to the world is nothing short of courageous. For this my friend, you’ve earned a one way ticket, dress anyway you like, in coach to my Desert Island.

Next on the list is Too Important to Hang Up the Phone person. We’ve all seen this person in the grocery store or any kind of store really. The conversation they’re having on their cell phone is WAY too important to put on hold until they’re out of the store or out of the checkout line. When you talk to the person on your cell phone while the poor checkout person is trying to help pass their terrible day by speaking to the customer, you’re far too busy talking to your best friend about your heavy flow, your wife’s bunions, last week’s episode of Cougar Town or how your child won’t stop screaming in the cart. I understand it’s nice to have somebody to talk to and tell these things to, but is there really no time in your day for 6 minutes of courtesy towards the cashier or the unsuspecting people who don’t want to hear your conversation? I extend to you a courtesy bump up ticket to first class to give the passengers in coach a break on your way to my Desert Island.

I didn’t realize I had so much to say about that person so I will leave the list at 2 for today and continue this segment another time here on (altogether now) DESERT ISLAND!